525,600 minutes

The end of the school year has to come to an end, and although I am re-signing for another year, I will be losing my 6th graders to the boy craziness, makeup, hairstyling, curse words, hygiene maintenance, and puberty that comes with middle school. So in remembrance of a fantastic year with my 6th graders, I made this end-of-the-year video for my main school's graduating 6th graders, whom I love and adore and will truly miss.

I added Korean to the writing because in order to effectively express the storyline, the students had to be able to understand it. I am also no expert at video editing and didn't have much time (crammed this whole thing in one day) so don't mind the lack of amazing video editing skillz.

I nearly cry every time I watch it. And it made many of my students cry and run up to me saying they'll miss me and begging me to stay. But then I reminded them that I AM staying and that they are the ones leaving! I even had students come crying to me that I didn't even think cared that much about me. Truly heartwarming.


Naesung 6th Grade Farewell from Amy Kue on Vimeo.

At my smallest school, I have a class of 11 6th graders graduating. At the very beginning, the girls opened their arms to me and I spent every afternoon there talking and playing with them. They even taught me my first Korean phrase ("I love you") by writing it in the sand. They are so pure hearted, sweet, kind, and very funny. Probably the only kids I've met so far in Korea without cell phones! I am going to miss them so much, so on my last day there, I bought a cake for them.



And then the girls all surprised me with farewell gifts, to which I did shed some tears.




This one's from one of the quieter girls with very little English skills. But she made me a pretty bead necklace, so I can't complain.









This is from one of my favorite students. She's a super bright girl who's funny, sweet, and going to be a great teacher some day. I wanted to express to her how wonderful I think she is, but I'm pretty sure she already knows.








This one made me chuckle. I know for a fact that she doesn't know this much English, so it was both impressive and amusing that she had outside help to conduct this letter. It was a sweet gesture.






This one's from one of my other favorites. She's super sweet and tries so hard to learn English. I visited her a few months ago in the hospital when she was hit by a taxi and I think she was appreciative of that.





This one's from a girl that's aspiring to be a writer, professor, and environmentalist. And any 6th grader that can say "environmentalist" is OK in my book. It's no wonder she bought me a planner as a parting gift. Super smart girl. Perhaps will be President one day.


So, how do you measure a year?

In Konglish, handuh pones, kimchi, bangs, mirrors, being called big eyed, easily amused faces, unforgettable whining, boyfriend and girlfriend gossip, Wondergirls, being best friends with Tae Yang of Big Bang, Bonghwa world stars, insanely lame yet catchy English songs, playing house, singing rehearsals, embarrassing students, soccer, badminton, free candy and tattoos, never-ending "hello"s and "hi"s and "teacha"s, like, like, and lots of love.

Student Classifications

After spending nearly an entire school year with my students, I've come to find that most fall into a specific category of mine when it comes to being a student of a school that hosts a foreign native English teacher.

1) There's the one that says hello and runs up to talk to me every chance they get and actually makes an effort to have a semi-meaningful (their English level is, after all, extremely low) conversation with me every time. This includes asking for my cell phone number (it's totally appropriate here) and texting/calling me every so often because they adore me. I'm okay with this because it's always in English, and what good is it if I ignore them when they willingly want to practice?

2) There's the one that says hello and shamefully giggles and runs away (usually friends of #1).

3) There's the one that says "Miss Kue!" or "Teacher!" and follows me around forever but can't speak a word of English.

4) There's the one that's too cool to be associated with me but will just wave and say hello (if even) but never take it any further than that.

5) There's the one that avoids complete eye contact and will never say hello to me.

6) There's the one that likes to call my beer belly my baby or else poke at it relentlessly.

7) There's the one that loves to come and speak to me...in Korean and ONLY in Korean, regardless of how obvious (and known) it is that I have no idea what they are saying.

8) There's the one that once caught me saying something in Korean to another teacher and thus is determind to get me to speak another word in Korean every single day. And will not stop trying until I put my hands up and quickly run away. (I never give in...ever)

9) There are the little ones that aren't in my classes but immediately say "hello!" or "hi!" and then just keep saying it to each other even when I leave the room because they think it's funny. And then they talk for another 2 minutes about saying hello to me.

10) Then of course, there's the pack of young'uns that have never had me as a teacher but because their friends told them I'm American, they see me, scream hello, and then proceed to follow me in a ginormous pack all the way down the hall. Like of 10+.

11) And then there are those completely oblivious to my foreign status. I mean...you can't tell from the way I look? I'm obviously not Korean looking at all.

Nevertheless, I love each and every one of them.

My President is a WHAT?

One of the most fascinating observations about being a native English teacher in Korea is the pronunciation of the Koreans (also known as Konglish). Some of the most common mistakes are due to pronouncing sounds that don't exist in their own language.

For example, the /r/ and /l/ liquids and the /b/ and /v/ sounds:

"Teacher, today I go swimming in the leeber." [river]

Another example is how Koreans cannot end their words with certain consonants:

"Teacher, time to eat lunchee."
"Okay, turn to pagee 42."
"Nice-uh!"

Or because "see" sounds would be pronounced "shee" in Korean:

"I go watch moobee in sheenema." [I am going to watch a movie at the cinema]

And probably the most common error, confusing the /p/ and /f/ sounds:

"Teacher, me see you handuh pone." [Teacher, can I see your cell phone?]
"Teacher, my priend, he pool!" [Teacher, my friend is a fool]

So then you get sentences such as this:

"Teacher, I go to the shitty leeber to habba picuh-nic and eat lice and pork-uh poor lunchee. Today my birthday. Please-uh, gibba me gipat-uh." [Teacher, I'm going to the city's river to have a picnic and eat rice and pork for lunch. Today is my birthday, so please give me a gift.]

Just when I thought I heard it all, this was the icing on the cake.

For our lesson today, my co-teacher had a picture of George Bush on a power point because he was playing a guitar (lesson topic: What do you want to do?...I want to play the guitar). And while a few said "Georgee Bushee!" a majority of them yelled out...

"Georgee Pussy!"

I thought for a second about correcting them, but I only correct my students when they are wrong.

Missy out, Donna in

A recent purchase of mine was one of my greatest ideas since my arrival to Korea. When I was in Cambodia, my friend and I rented mopeds to ride through the countryside and absolutely LOVED it. So when I came back to Korea, I had to get one for myself. It was a brilliant idea because I could use it to ride through the lovely countryside to work and I could go visit many beautiful sites in and around my town all on my own. Plus it's upped me a whole lot on the coolness meter with my students when they see me cruising on my very own Prima autobike.

Welcome to Amy's world, my dear friend, Donna (get it? Prima...Donna):


Yes, check out the bullet holes on my muffler. I had to dodge the bullets from the local market using my fantastic ninja-like skillz when I didn't pay for my sHite beer.

I feel a bit bad because this means dear ole faithful Missy has been left out in the cold. I stuffed her into a hallway corner and she's now resorted to being the hall garbage tin where annoying teenagers that hang around the building like to dump their trash. Oh well, Missy always was a bit of a whore. It's only natural for her to attract other trashy things.

A while ago, I went to check on my moped's engine because it sounded funny. I went into the shop where I bought my moped at (since he offered 1 month free engine maintenance) with my Korean friend (who helps translate). But when I got there, he looked at it and with a red face and minimal eye contact, he said it was fine and that there's nothing wrong with it. Then as I kept pushing for him to at least check it, he stopped talking and finally admitted he was really drunk and that I'd have to leave it overnight and he'll look at it first thing the next morning.

This was at 4:00pm, a time when business is still going on and people need their bikes fixed. But it's no surprise since stores and other businesses open and close as they please.

But that's Korea for you!

Oh the things you get to see in the countryside with a ride as sweet as Donna. Oh sweet Donna.

Creativity knows no boundaries

One of my favorite parts about my job teaching here in Korea is how creative the students are when communicating with me in English. Whether it's by pointing at things, making gestures, drawing pictures, or role playing, it's always a riot and they leave me glowing with pure joy! And I am always highly impressed with how well they DO communicate, considering these are 4th-6th graders with minimal English skills.

One time a few 4th graders attempted (and successfully, for the most part) to translate an entire comic book of short comedic stories for me. One student told me about how her friend's parents own a chicken restaurant by saying, "Hello [on the phone], chicken please? Okay, thank you!"

Many students like to tell me about their "crazy frog eye" teachers with devil horns. Today I found out a 4th and 6th grader are sisters.

Younger sister: My sister crazy girl! She has big head [conceited]! 30 minutes bathroom play hair. 'I so beautiful. I princess. I so cute.'
Older sister: Noooo teacher [while fixing her hair]! My sister eat rice many many! [gestures a giant bowl of rice]. 'Mmm rice 3 times please.' She big pig!
Me: No! Sisters need to have LOVE [heart sign].
Older sister: No! *points at sister and makes a huge 'X' in the air and fixes hair*
Younger sister: You shallup! [shut up]

Those are just small examples. There's always something hilarious some kid tries to say in Konglish (Korean + English mix) everyday. It's quite flattering that the kids try hard to talk to you when they have such a basic grasp of English. It shows just how much they really want to learn (and how much they love and adore me <3 ) and how creative they can be. Plus it's a great way to practice. And it always makes my job so much more rewarding.

The kids here rock. Well, at least my kids do.

Hide-and-no-need-to-seek

Today I worked at my small school (so classes of about 10 students). In between my first and second class is a 30 minute break. Instead of going and waiting in my 5th grade classroom, I waited until the last minute to go up. When I walk in, I see no one but I hear the kids yelling at each other. I think they're outside but then I see something dark move and find that one of my students is hiding in the corner behind a garbage tin. And then I hear more rustling and see the rest of the students behind the TV and shelf.

Apparently, they had been waiting for a good 20 minutes trying to surprise me, but I never showed up. They nearly suffocated on the account of a good scare (that failed). But I was impressed by how well they shoved 8 people into one tiny tiny corner. They were all really sad that I busted them but I told them if they want to surprise someone, make sure that person is actually going to show up. And don't talk!

Cute anyway.

/sign off

An inappropriate proposition

3 posts in one week! Look at me go. Working on making this blog more blog-worthy.

Lesson 10 for Grade 5 is "Do you want some more?" Some of the questions the kids learn are: "Do you want some water?", "Do you want a knife?", "Do you want a spoon?", and my favorite, "Do you want a fork?"

Why? Because when one of my co-teachers asks it (in her lovely Korean fobby accent), it comes out as "Do you wanna fuck?!?"

And it's hard to take seriously when the kids reply, "Yes, please."

Sick, I know. But it's true. I have to try really hard to keep myself from laughing. In fact, whenever I asked the question, I felt myself almost slipping out the actual word "fuck" a few times.

I'm flashy

I recently purchased a wonderful moped to ride to and from school everyday. This meant becoming more consciously aware of what I wear to work. I often wear skirts to work, and seeing how I am riding quite fast on the small county roads, I realized I can no longer wear a skirt while riding unless I want all of Bonghwa to see my granny undies. So I brilliantly decided to wear sweat pants on the moped and casually slip into a skirt once I arrive at school. When I arrived at school, in the parking lot, I slipped my skirt up over my pants and started to pull my pants down. For some reason, the drawstrings of my pants AND skirt somehow got tucked into my undies and when I pulled the pants down, it pulled the skirt down, which in turn pulled a bit of my underwear down. It was a 2 second flash, but nonetheless, a flash in front of the school. I'm not sure anyone really saw it, but I was sure surrounded by a ton of kids when it happened. Whoops!

Also, I dreamt in Korean for the first time last night. I am not really sure what happened in the dream, but I know a few Korean friends made their way into it and I found myself speaking Korean. It was all still very basic (only a few phrases here and there), unlike when I dream in fluent Spanish. I hope to keep this up. Once I start dreaming in a foreign language, I consider it to be forever ingrained in my brain. Yay!

Supplies! Happy Birthday!

Never try to plan a surprise birthday party with Koreans unless:

1) You can speak Korean.
2) The other party can speak English.

As previously mentioned, I've developed quite the relationship with a few of my Taekwondo girls. They're all younger than me, but they keep me highly amused and have become the little sisters I've never had. I enjoy their company and being so far from home, they are the closest family I've got here.

That being said, it was our good friend's birthday and we were all excited to celebrate it. Let's say off the bat that with this group of 4 girls, only one can speak English. And unfortunatly, it happened to be HER birthday we were trying to plan as a surprise. Success? You tell me.

Let's call it a failure #1:
I receive a text message from one of the other girls, Sora. All in Korean, of course. So I ask my coteacher to translate it. She of course does a poor job and I'm thinking Darima (the birthday girl who speaks English) is leaving Yeongju. So I text her asking why and when she's leaving. She's confused, obviously. So when I see her later on, I ask her to translate the message that Sora sent me. It basically said, "Amy, Darima's birthday is coming up, what should we do for it?? Should we do something special on Saturday?" Crap!

Let's call it a failure #2:
Sora relentlessly tries to plan with me, both of us using as much Konglish (English + Korean mix) as possible. We finally somehow come to agree that on Darima's actual birthday (Thursday), her and the girls would come to my place at 5:00 and buy a cake and presents and surprise Darima. Trying to plan a surprise for the person who is usually your translator is rough. Every once in a while, Sora would say to me (loudly and often in the presence of Darima), "Amy, Thursday, ok??? Uhh Darima, Thursday, five dirrty, uh, me, you house go go, ok??" Come on, SHHHH she's right there!!!!!!!! Crap!

Let's call it a failure #3:
Everything is going well, all the girls have their gifts and letters set. I ask my Taekwondo master if we could be a little late since we're throwing a small party at the same time as practice. So he asks, "Ah, so it's TOP SECRET?" to which I reply, "yes, so please do NOT SAY ANYTHING." To which he promises. Thursday morning on my way to school, he tells me he told Darima about the surprise!!!!!!!!!! WHAT. THE. HELL. I half yell at him and he oddly denies it but Darima and his daughter both confirmed he did in fact say something. I ask her what she knows and she claims she just knows there's a party going on. CRAP AGAIN!

Let's call it a failure #4:
SO, I am waiting at my apartment for the girls to come over so we can go buy the cake. They call me and tell me to meet them at some bakery which I can not find. We finally find each other and Sora says "Amy, me you cake. Bobae, Seong Eun (the other girls), gift." So I'm thinking they are going to buy her the presents (but I still bought her something anyway). After we get a delicious sweet potato cake, we go buy the "gifts" which turned out to be a bunch of chips, cookies, and crackers. Geez!



Let's call it a failure #5:
I had a perfect ploy for getting Darima to come over. I told her I bought a new moped (which I had planned to) and for her to come over after school so we can ride it to practice together (which we sometimes do anyway). Pretty perfect, yea? But Sora keeps calling and texting Darima to hurry and come downtown so ALL 5 of us can go to practice together. Meet at Amy's! Mind you, this is Darima's actual day of birth. Stop texting I say! Crap!

Let's call it a failure #6:
We lay out all the food on the floor to eat for the party. I want to move it to hide it so that when Darima walks in, she doesn't see it and know something's up. But they don't. And then they play some "happy birthday" background music as she walks in. Pretty obvious, but that's okay.

So, even though the element of surprise was pretty much non-existent, overall, it turned out to be a good time and I know she was really happy. The girls asked me to smash the cake in Darima's face because she would otherwise beat up the rest of them if they did it. So I did.



I still gave my TKD master crap about ruining the surprise, though. He told me a secret and said it was top secret and not to tell anyone. So I said I would tell everyone because to him top secret doesn't mean anything!

My darling Korean family:

And the curse continues...

I know a lot of this is not really a curse and is really just due to Korean ways. But let's analyze for a moment anyway.

This is post-torrential rainstorm from camp #1 after the river washed up the rocks:


At elementary English camp #1 (read previous post), we were supplied with an overabundance of water from a torrential rainstorm. At elementary English camp #2, we hardly had any water! On day 1 the water had turned off and those in charge spent the entire day trying to fix it. For a few hours we had no water = kids could not wash their hands or shower or use the toilet. We were also worried because the following day was our water games day.

They had to bring in a firetruck in the evening to pump water from the river to give everyone just enough time to take quick cold showers.


Hmmm...and of course it rained on our water day and was beaming HOT and sunny on our active running day. We were also 20 students short of what we were told. And supplies went missing. And blah blah blah this camp was a curse.

But we were highly complimented on our hard earned efforts and ability to manage the crises. I say...well done.

CURSE: BITE ME!

p.s. I love my students. They're my bundles of joy.

The Curse of the English Camp

As I stated previously, planning for my elementary English camp was a pain the ass. And thus, I have declared the entire thing to be a curse. Here is why:

1) Initially we were informed there would only be 25 students. Then later told it was 75.

2) They changed the dates about 3 or 4 times.

3) We were never notified if there were going to be other native teachers working (there's 3 in Bonghwa but 1 had his own camps to do)

4) For our very first meeting (just about 3 weeks prior to camps), no one had prepared any sort of lesson plan. All that was available was a time schedule to follow.

5) The other native teacher and I planned EVERYTHING alone.

6) We find out we have 3 other native teachers, supposedly from South America. Why the hell would there be native English speakers from South AMERICA?

7) Nope, they're from South Africa.

8) The other native teachers live in a different city so are not available for any meetings.

8) Then there's just the whole pay situation. We were promised one thing, offered another (significantly less). This was frustrating because we spent countless hours planning by ourselves with no help from the other native teachers nor the Korean teachers.

9) The supervisor tells us we have to pay for all our supplies. WTF.

10) They were only going to give us 4 Korean teachers for 5 groups. Elementary kids do not speak that much English.

11) A week before camps, one native teacher fractures his knee and can no longer work the camp.

12) The other teacher and I have to restructure everything to make 4 groups instead of 5. And yes, by ourselves.

13) At 9:00pm the night before the first camp, one of the other native teachers is being rushed to the hospital due to a stroke (later find out it's a seizure) and her husband (the other native teacher) is going with her. So we now are down to TWO native teachers for 75 kids. Luckily, one of our friends was on vacation and was willing to help us out. We also eventually found another teacher from Yeongju as well.

14) We are not given any say in the opening ceremony, which of course was performed all in KOREAN at an ENGLISH camp.

15) Supplies...either missing or useless.

16) Everything for the most part was going well. Then we realized we were not invited to speak at the closing ceremony. They wanted it to all be formal and in Korean. While we understand the cultural aspect of having the chief of education there, we felt it was our duty as native teachers AND camp planners/organizers/runners to be at least a PART of the ceremony. A Korean teacher was going to give the speech in her broken and poor English using incredibly big words that children would not understand. When we asked if we could speak, we were denied this, which made us feel like our roles were unimportant. We had a big argument about that.

17) On our last day (the day we spend all outside playing water games), there was major flooding going on because it had rained all night long. The clear river turned muddy brown and underwent an enormous mood change:




Our food source could no longer drive to our camp because the roads were blocked due to mudslides and the fact that the roads were basically collapsing. So we had to drive all 75 kids to a nearby restaurant to feed them breakfast in the torrential rainstorm. We finally convinced the Korean teachers to buy a ton of snacks in case we got stuck at camp and had no more food. For our lunch, they went out and bought 85 cups of ramen noodles.


Since the roads were closed, our other 2 native teachers were not coming to camp since they had not slept over like we did (and it's about an hour away from Yeongju). So the other native teacher and I were stuck with 75 kids all day INSIDE while the Korean teachers were running around doing various crisis things. We got stuck playing a million random games just to keep them busy. Unfortunately, it was too hard to make them all that much English-stimulating, but we had to step up all alone and handle the kids by ourselves, so there shouldn't be any complaining.

We were supposed to leave right after lunch, but we were not free to go until 5pm when bulldozers were brought out to open up the roads, giving us a small time window to let us take the kids home. This is why the day was so messy:


So the whole camp process was a bundle of joy. Camp 1 is finished and I cannot believe I survived. It was the biggest pain in the ass I've had during my time in Korea...but if it weren't for the kids, I wouldn't still love my job.

The kids playing Horse, Love, Piggy Back. A good time. Watch the partners with one small kid one big kid when they do piggy back. A laugh worthy time.



Hello, my name is Amy and I am an English Camp survivor.

*applause* WELCOME AMY!

English Camps

Here is an update to my current state of being in the lovely South Korea. The past 2 weeks have been spent with my head strapped to a load of dynamite as another native teacher and I have been relentlessly fighting to plan and make our English camps this summer work. It is the first time Bonghwa has implemented English camps for the elementary schools, so no one seems to have any idea about how to run or plan things. This results in native teachers (2 of the 4 to be exact) planning everything, dates and times changing constantly, and constant battles about money.

I won't go into the details because they were messy and not fun. Basically, we were screwed over and had to put in all our time and energy into making this camp fun and bearable for the young kids. If it weren't for the kids, we wouldn't have tried as hard as we did. They're lucky it's us doing this and not some douchebags who could care less about the students.

Aside from that, I've been working intensely on my Taekwondo, impressively improving and ready to take on the black belt test come September. The gym, lacking entirely in any fans or A/C, is a deathly sauna everyday at practice. I've also participated in the hardcore training that his national competition team has being doing lately. It's pretty intense and difficult, but I feel quite flattered that he thinks I'm good enough to engage in the same sort of training. I've got a long way to go but it's good to be pushed that hard. Plus it's fun when all the boys yell "Yea Amy FIGHTING!"

Did I mention these boys are starting to really grow on me? They're all quite hilarious, fun, and very cute. They often enjoy stripping their shirts off and walking half naked around the gym and doing as many push ups as possible. They're all skinny but incredibly ripped. It's a shame they're all so much younger than me. Like...high school.

Summer vacation for schools has started! So this means English camps galore, and then my lovely vacation with Bitey Asian!

Also, I promised myself I wouldn't get mixed up in enjoying Korean pop music. But instead of dreading and hating it, I've come to embrace it. Thus, I've become quite the expert on the recent culture of Korean pop music.

/update

Koreanization

In the spirit of Korea, I decided to cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. Twice. First time it looked like I had a lingering mullet. I tried to get it fixed the second time around and instead she just cut it shorter and shorter until it became this:


I got mixed reviews. Of course, my students with similar haircuts absolutely loved it! What I love/hate about Koreans is their honesty. Many others praised my new haircut as well and I knew they were telling the truth because of the expressions on their faces when they first saw me. And those who didn't like it much told me up front they liked my long hair better. There was no sugarcoating, no fake facial expressions. If their eyes widened and they smiled when they saw me, I know they liked it. If they looked indifferent or started shaking their head or whining "Aaaaamy/Miss Kueeeeee/Teeeachaaa I likeuh you hair longuh" it's pretty obvious they aren't fans.

The rest just said I look prettier than before. Hmm.

When I'm brave enough to REALLY be Korean, I'll walk around like this:

Taekwondo

As of today, I've lost a total of 18 lbs since my arrival to Korea. This is due to a combination of good healthy food, a lot of walking, and a lot of Taekwondo.

Today my Taekwondo master worked my ass off sparring with the black belt free fighting boys. They're good.

Things I've noticed since I started:

1) I am so not flexible
2) I am so out of shape
3) I have no stamina
4) I sweat an ocean every night at practice
5) I like the young folk I do Taekwondo with
6) I think I half broke my left foot
7) I'm quite good...for a girl
8) I have a strong right leg, but similar to my soccer skills, my left sucks
9) I have learned a lot of Korean just hanging out with Koreans at the Taekwondo gym
10) As a result, I've been more motivated to learn Korean
11) Joining the gym is like being part of a little Korean family and I feel so loved!
12) Sparring with the boys hurts my boobs because they are right at kicking height and that's where they do all their kicking
13) I am so out of shape

My master informed me yesterday that I need to practice hard so that I can get my black belt in September at the next promotion test. SEPTEMBER. It usually takes years to become a black belt in the States. I also am sad there will be no board breaking. Belts don't mean shit here, anyway.

I also think that a part of the reason why my master pushes me so hard is to make me lose a lot of weight, because well, I need to.

Taekwondo rocks. That is all. I said good day!

No touching!!!! NO TOUCHING!!!!

Korean students are generally pretty violent with each other. They love to violently put their arms and feet all over each other and often resort to weapons (pens, pencils, scissors, books, snap blades, anything that can be used to hit another person). It's endless. And it's not friendly slapping either. It's hardcore all out, throwing, punching, kicking, smacking. So hard that you can hear the smacking noise throughout the school I'm sure.

It bothers me.

Either way, kids are free to roam about and beat each other up as often and as much as they'd like. They're only yelled at if it's interfering with class time or they're in someone's way. Even when it stops they are not disciplined in any way for it. They either go unnoticed or unpunished...mostly both.

It bothers me.

Examples:

A while ago, 2 students were messing around and one picked up the other and dropped him on his face. His nose started bleeding like crazy and he was bawling. Of course, his nose was cleaned up, but there were no consequences for such dangerous behavior.

Last week, I watched a girl bang her head against a desk. Immediately a yellow and blue egg started growing out of her forehead. I plead with my co-teacher to get her some ice. My co-teacher just said "oh, science room ice" and chuckled and walked away. The girl was seriously hurt and nothing was to be done!

Today a boy threw a clay structure with sharp edges at a girl and cut open her ankle. No repercussions. She cried and her skin peeled off. What was oddly interesting was that when she showed it to me, she cared more about hiding her big mole on her leg than the pain from the injury.

It bothers me.

Then there's the topic of corporal punishment. I haven't seen anything myself beyond the occasional smacking on the back of a student's head to get him/her to shut up. But one of the girls I do Taekwondo with came into class once and showed me her palms. On both of them was a SUPER thick and huge outlined blister from all of the whacks she got from her teacher's drumstick. She, along with a few other friends who had been helping a sick friend, had been whacked numerous times on their palms for being a few minutes late to class. It was awful! The blisters were full of puss and severely needed to be drained. That kind of torture I'm not okay with.

It bothers me.

There's also a student (who I'm pretty sure has some mild case of autism or something similar) that sits in the class like everyone else but is knowingly different. He screams a lot, is very touchy yet hypersensitive, moody, and tends to get into fights with everyone. When he's having a moment or starts running around, the teacher does nothing. The students instead chase after him, hitting him, yelling at him, dragging him by his clothes.

It bothers me.

Recently a friend told me her student drew a vagina on a Teletubbie picture. Today in my 1st-2nd grade after school English class, some of the kids came up to me to show me their drawings of boobs and vaginas on the female cartoon characters in their English books. One girl even laughed and said, "teacher...NIPPLES!" FIRST GRADE! I shook my finger in a very mother-like manner and said "NOT GOOD!!! BAD!!!"

It bothers me.

Oh and for the past month, all the vice principal and teachers have been doing in the teacher's lounge is designing and sewing shirts, vests, purses, and blankets. Is there no work to be done???

Korean friends

Apparently if you're an underage girl in Korea, you'll want to be my best friend. I don't know how I feel about this. It's not that I'm not making friends in Yeongju, I'm just not making KOREAN friends. At first I come off as uninteresting, just like any other Korean woman around town. This is especially the case when I'm hanging around other "white" foreigners (oOoO the exotic white person!). But once my charming and hilarious personality comes out, they cling to me like brown on brown rice.

Today I was asked by a student who my best friend is. I said I have many friends, but no one best friend. She asked if her and her friends could be my best friends. Sure, why not!

I had taken a few cute pictures with my students at my favorite school (it's very tiny so I get to know the kids better). I was very excited to show them to the world. They're some of the most innocent and enthusiastic kids I've ever met and they absolutely ADORE me.

I've also been quite popular with a few of the young girls at my Taekwondo school (all in middle or high school). 2 days ago, I pointed out to one of the middle school girls the building I live in. So the next day as I'm heading down the stairs to meet my Taekwondo master (who picks me up for class), she and another middle school girl were running up my stairs to see my apartment. We have 2 minutes to spare so I show them my dinky shoebox. One of them sees my thawing tater tots and invites herself over to come eat them some time. So today I invited them over after school and cooked them burgers and tater tots.

Then one of them was looking through my camera photos and deleted ALL of my pictures on accident. Was I angry? A bit. I took some cute photos earlier in the day! But she was mortified and they were both silent, thinking I was very angry. But they were so innocent about it I couldn't be angry. They're just pictures.

It's a bit weird to be inviting little girls over to my place to "hang out." But I figure, they adore and love me, so why not relish in it while I can? It's nice to feel that special every once in a while, almost like having little sisters. It's also a good feeling to know that when I met these girls, they absolutely hated English, and now all they want to do is practice their English with me. They have already invited themselves to my future wedding. And they're pretty friggin' hilarious.

And when I think about it, some of my closest friends are way older than me. A friend is a friend. Age ain't nuthin but a number. The only drawback is that I can't go drinking with them. But that's okay, because I don't drink, Mom...

So, with an empty memory card, we took new photos:

Vanity Affair

I drank a lot of coffee today.

I think someone spiked my 3/4 cup of coffee with sugar. I have a very odd buzz yet I still can't shake off the yawning. I'm not a coffee drinker so I am still not used to the shaking.

Lately I've been weirded out a lot by the number of mirrors I run into during the day. This starts in my bathroom, my vanity, and my shoe foyer area where a mirror hangs. Then there's one in the elevator. Then I sit on the long grueling bus ride to work and watch as half of the bus passengers (half being high school students) pull out little compacts to check themselves out. Then this persists all day because every single classroom has a mirror hanging in the middle of the room and there are mirrors all throughout the halls. And if there aren't any around, there's plenty of glass to use to check one's reflection. I'm almost jealous of these mirrors because they get more attention from people than I do. Thankfully the children are still young and refrain from checking out their beautiful faces often, unlike all of the adults...and as of late, including me...



I remember my first experience in a Korean elevator at our hotel during orientation and the entire inside of it was mirrors! How awkward it was to be cramped into a tiny elevator with 8 other people you barely know and not able to look up anywhere without looking directly at someone else's reflection. The elevator mirror thing is still very common around other parts of the country. I find myself just staring at the buttons as a way to avoid any sort of eye contact. Even then I can sometimes accidentally connect eyes with someone else.

Appearance is huge here. Ladies dress up for any occasion, such as taking out the garbage. The whiter your skin, the more beautiful you are (guess I'm almost there!). Women typically wear 18 layers of foundation to achieve this effect. There's even skin whitening cream! From far away they all look like beautiful porcelain dolls...but oh man, up close it's like Hurricane Katrina reincarnated. Within 3 feet of a Korean woman's face, you can see this map of the Amazon. It's not pretty. But I think this is mostly due to the layers and layers of foundation, not the natural skin. Maybe.

Women can't not wear heels anywhere within the country. Apparently heels are quite versatile...a single pair can carry you through a 5 mile rigorous hike, across the trenches during a war battle, or even across the Atlantic Ocean. I was unaware of how resourceful heels can be. I feel I must buy a pair right now and engage in anything I want to because I'm wearing heels!

I think I'll go run a marathon with mine to break them in.

Korean street racing: the real experience

Yesterday was an interesting day. Two other friends and I all have May birthdays, so we had planned to have a combined "all day birthday fest" together. We spent the entire day tanning, grilling, and playing on the beach on a gorgeous day. Then we all headed over to some friends' house for some more partying. The night was going well, we taught some of them good ole Flip Cup (USA vs. the rest of the world), danced, played games, had cake, etc...Most of the people left a bit early but the few of us remaining were determined to keep the fun going. So we decided to head out to Yeongju's probably only existing nightclub....until...

The taxi was strolling (at a relatively fast speed) down a near empty street when a car on the right pulled out. And while the taxi driver swerved a bit out of the way, he didn't swerve far enough and the other car nailed us hard on the right side. In shock, we all got out to see that 2 of us had hit their heads on the window and one was lying across us and had hit her hip on a chair. I think I underwent a bit of whiplash. Thankfully none of us were seriously injured, but it was quite frightening. What was worse was trying to explain things in our barely non-existent Korean and their non-existent English.

We're all fine, but a little shaken up by what happened. We were told the driver who hit us went to the police station, but we want to know what is going to happen to us and whether or not they'll be reprimanded. But apparently all that happens is that the driver that hit us has to pay for the damages and our taxi driver was fired for allowing 5 passengers and not telling us to fasten our seatbelts.

The situation not only put a damper on our evening but it really scared me as a foreigner. I'm riding in cars nearly everyday during super busy traffic hours and have luckily never been hit. But the one time we're on a nearly empty street, we are. Koreans don't look over their shoulders when switching lanes so obviously someone's eventually going to get hit. I've lived abroad before but never imagined what it'd be like to be living in a country where you can't communicate with the locals during situations like this. It's scary to know that something bad could happen to you and no one would understand where you are coming from or know how to help you. It was a real slap in the face. I don't want to be put in a situation like that again and not be able to back myself up. I'm even more determined to work on my Korean now.

Anyway, it was pretty crazy and unfortunately, we just went home. I'm doing fine but it was just too surreal.

I really REALLY hate Korean drivers. It's one of the most screwed up driving systems.

Teachers Day

Today was Teachers Day. Most schools had big huge parties. Some didn't even have classes today. But my school sucks and we ran on a normal schedule. But I guess I shouldn't be complaining seeing how we had all of last week off (and I got to go to Japan! pictures coming soon!). Today the Teachers Room was filled with flowers from the administration and parents. We were even given 2 cakes. I initially thought maybe it was someone's birthday because 2 teachers blew candles out on them and one of them had a sign that said "Happy Birthday!"...but they were for Teachers Day.


I wasn't expecting anything all day, but one 4th grader tracked me down to hand me this letter. I was deeply touched and it came at a good time too (I had just received some bad news). It's moments like this that make me being here worth it. I love all the grammatical and spelling errors too--makes it more personal. Not bad for a 4th grader!

Missy's introduction

As another means of looking super cool, a bunch of us Yeongjuans ventured out and purchased some pretty dope bicycles. I'd like to introduce the blogger world to my new best friend, Missy Corex.


Isn't she a treasure? Used and abused, I felt a bond immediately. I'm not normally a fan of purple, but I think being in Korea has changed my ways, much like me actually enjoying eating bean sprouts now. Missy and the rest of the bike gang took a mini trip along the Seocheon (Yeongju's river) and felt what we like to call freedom.

However, upon bringing Missy home for the evening, we had our first fight. She decided to be a stubborn little brat and would not get into the small elevator. We fought for a while until I got fed up and just picked her right up and held her handle bars until we made it safely up to the 4th floor. What a heavy load she is! I had to lecture her about cutting back on the bulgogi (beef) because then she'd have to start moving on her own. I thought I'd be a good mother and give her a wash. But immediately she proceeded to shy away from the shower when I stuck her in the bathroom, so washing her bum was a bit difficult and I ended up getting water all over the doorway. I scrubbed Missy religiously on my hands and knees and realized that I made about a .00000001% difference. But her purpleness does have a bit more of a shine to it, I admit. I attribute that to her natural glow.

Missy and I spent some time bonding and I realized that a lot of her behavior was due to her sudden separation from Sunstar, the beautiful hot pink bike with a blue seat that is now owned by Shannon. I reassured her that they could still be part of the same gang, so now we've reconciled. We talked about things and decided to work with each other more efficiently so that we can avoid similar problems in the future, so I've forgiven her for such behavior!

It's going to be lovely journey together, Missy! To bonfires and swimming parties and Homeplus and norae bangs! I'm excited! Aren't we cute together?

I just ate live octopus

So one of Koreans' favorite dishes is sannakji, a live octopus chopped up and served ready to eat. Okay, it's not really alive, but its relentless movement after being chopped up gives it that "still alive" effect, so it is very creepy indeed. Back home I wouldn't even dream about touching it, but seeing how I'm in a new country with a different culture, I figured why not. I've tried semi-cooked octopus already along with pig intestine, raw beef, and other stuff I'm not even sure what they are.



I never thought I'd eat something "alive" but I promised myself I'd at least try it once before leaving South Korea. Surprisingly, I had the guts to try it 2 months in. Of course, I freaked out. I was told that if you don't eat it fast enough, its tentacles will suck onto your throat and cause you to choke. So I chewed it at a superhuman speed.

Don't mind the poorly handled use of chopsticks. I did say I highly dislike the metal chopsticks.



Not bad. Delicious even. It's really not all that it's hyped up to be. After eating this, my coteacher said, "Okay, I think now you are Korean!"

I still don't think I will ever try silkworm larvae, though. Then again, I said the same thing about live octopus.

Scattered thoughts and other things

I haven't updated in a while, so here are some random thoughts and other things I've done over the past few weeks.

I went to Seoul last weekend and explored many wonderful things. My friend Nick and I went to Lotte World, an indoor/outdoor amusement park with rides, games, food, museums, and an ice skating rink.


We also went to an Ice Bar where you are given a thermal coat and gloves and taken into a giant refrigerator room made of ice walls and ice sculptures and ice cups. Very COOL.


Also found the coolest karaoke place (norae bang) ever. It came with free ice cream, a lofty 2 story room, and a window view so that everyone on the street could watch you sing your soul out. And probably the cheapest one I've ever been to!




I also went to the Bullfighting Festival in Cheongdo (my very first festival in Korea). It was a 4 hour train ride, so we were a bit exhausted by the time we got there. It was pretty interesting, but it turned out that it wasn't so much bullfighting as it was bullnudging. They nudge each other until one gives up and runs away. Still an interesting experience nonetheless.

I thought not having a dryer would be neat, as I love hang drying clothes. But I don't have a patio so they take forever to dry. Also, my clothes are bigger on me, but I have no idea if it's due to losing weight or just that my clothes are outstretched from hang drying.

Some classes I love because students actually pay attention and answer questions and really get into the activities. Some classes I walk in and immediately want to walk out and start wondering how fast 40 minutes can go. I started teaching 1st graders, though, and while they know NO English, they are the cutest little darlings and I just want to stick them all in my pocket.

In other news, I witnessed corporal punishment for the first time. One of my coteachers went up and hit a boy on the back of his head. Surprisingly, I was indifferent. Children also hit each other like crazy here. And it's taken pretty lightly. One girl smacked a boy in front of her really hard with her book and moaned in anger. My coteacher just turned and stared while she did it again, waiting for her to be done, but not saying anything about it. WOW. She'd be sent to the naughty room if this were in Madison!

My main handler coteacher has been throwing things at me very last minute (oh, no classes today because it's Science Day and everyone's working on projects OR Hi, do you want to use your summer vacation on so and so dates? Please tell me by Monday even though today is Friday and summer vacation isn't for another 4 months). I often find myself blaming her for everything (even if it's not always her fault) and putting all my frustration on her for not telling me sooner, so our relationship has changed a lot and I find myself not wanting to be around her. She's also been "too busy" in the mornings so I am now taking the bus to school. It costs more but I don't mind because then I get a chance to catch up on episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" and "30 Rock" while still avoiding awkward silences we have during the 20 min car ride. With many of my teachers, instead of me learning Korean better, I feel incredibly selfish and ignorant thinking they should learn English better so that they communicate with me since they have a better grasp of English than I do with Korean. This entire situation needs work.

I haven't received a bill from my gas company so my coteacher tried contacting them to get a price. And it turned out I only owe about $15 in gas, electricity, and water. But the company didn't believe what I had written when I recorded my gas usage so they made my CT come to my apartment to double check. Geez, it's called CONSERVATION. Apparently, I can't read numbers because English numbers are the same as Korean numbers. BULLOCKS.

This is why you do not stray from default: I once asked the lunchlady to give me a little more rice because we were having one of my favorite soups that day, so everyday since she's been giving me a wide load of rice. TOO MANY CARBS.

Sometimes, I just want to use a fork. Metal chopsticks hurt.

And every time I walk into a public restroom and find a western style toilet, I feel like I've won the lottery. Powerball too if there's toilet paper.