My President is a WHAT?

One of the most fascinating observations about being a native English teacher in Korea is the pronunciation of the Koreans (also known as Konglish). Some of the most common mistakes are due to pronouncing sounds that don't exist in their own language.

For example, the /r/ and /l/ liquids and the /b/ and /v/ sounds:

"Teacher, today I go swimming in the leeber." [river]

Another example is how Koreans cannot end their words with certain consonants:

"Teacher, time to eat lunchee."
"Okay, turn to pagee 42."
"Nice-uh!"

Or because "see" sounds would be pronounced "shee" in Korean:

"I go watch moobee in sheenema." [I am going to watch a movie at the cinema]

And probably the most common error, confusing the /p/ and /f/ sounds:

"Teacher, me see you handuh pone." [Teacher, can I see your cell phone?]
"Teacher, my priend, he pool!" [Teacher, my friend is a fool]

So then you get sentences such as this:

"Teacher, I go to the shitty leeber to habba picuh-nic and eat lice and pork-uh poor lunchee. Today my birthday. Please-uh, gibba me gipat-uh." [Teacher, I'm going to the city's river to have a picnic and eat rice and pork for lunch. Today is my birthday, so please give me a gift.]

Just when I thought I heard it all, this was the icing on the cake.

For our lesson today, my co-teacher had a picture of George Bush on a power point because he was playing a guitar (lesson topic: What do you want to do?...I want to play the guitar). And while a few said "Georgee Bushee!" a majority of them yelled out...

"Georgee Pussy!"

I thought for a second about correcting them, but I only correct my students when they are wrong.

Missy out, Donna in

A recent purchase of mine was one of my greatest ideas since my arrival to Korea. When I was in Cambodia, my friend and I rented mopeds to ride through the countryside and absolutely LOVED it. So when I came back to Korea, I had to get one for myself. It was a brilliant idea because I could use it to ride through the lovely countryside to work and I could go visit many beautiful sites in and around my town all on my own. Plus it's upped me a whole lot on the coolness meter with my students when they see me cruising on my very own Prima autobike.

Welcome to Amy's world, my dear friend, Donna (get it? Prima...Donna):


Yes, check out the bullet holes on my muffler. I had to dodge the bullets from the local market using my fantastic ninja-like skillz when I didn't pay for my sHite beer.

I feel a bit bad because this means dear ole faithful Missy has been left out in the cold. I stuffed her into a hallway corner and she's now resorted to being the hall garbage tin where annoying teenagers that hang around the building like to dump their trash. Oh well, Missy always was a bit of a whore. It's only natural for her to attract other trashy things.

A while ago, I went to check on my moped's engine because it sounded funny. I went into the shop where I bought my moped at (since he offered 1 month free engine maintenance) with my Korean friend (who helps translate). But when I got there, he looked at it and with a red face and minimal eye contact, he said it was fine and that there's nothing wrong with it. Then as I kept pushing for him to at least check it, he stopped talking and finally admitted he was really drunk and that I'd have to leave it overnight and he'll look at it first thing the next morning.

This was at 4:00pm, a time when business is still going on and people need their bikes fixed. But it's no surprise since stores and other businesses open and close as they please.

But that's Korea for you!

Oh the things you get to see in the countryside with a ride as sweet as Donna. Oh sweet Donna.