3.5 months and going down...

Wow, since the start of my 2nd year in Korea, I've only posted 3 times. Guess not much has changed.

BUT. I am dwindling down to my last 3.5 months and it's a strange feeling.

Over the past few months, I said goodbye to some wonderful people and this has shifted life in Korea quite a bit. I only have 3.5 months left. And while the influx of new people keeps coming, it is difficult to meet anyone knowing how short my time will be here. Life in my town is dying a slow death and my eagerness to return home is growing at an exponential rate.

I've lived a nomadic lifestyle for quite some time now (never staying in one spot for more than 2.5 years since I was in grade 3), so hitting my 2 year mark makes me anxious to move. My passion for teaching in Korea has burned out and I've become a zombie at school acting as a tape recorder. There is very little room for creativity and my brain is now completely sour mush.

I yearn for something new, fresh, and challenging. Nevertheless, I will significantly miss Korea. There are many wonderful and heartfelt things about Korea and its culture. I've met some amazing people. I've killed my liver but thickened my taste buds for spicyness. And there are some aspects that make me want to rip my eyes out (i.e. the overbearing importance of appearances). Basically, it has become a love/hate relationship over the last 2 years.

So in order to keep the love part thriving during my last few months, I'm going to try my best to post (more or less once a day--no promises) one positive thing about my day.

Today's positive post: I wore dangling earrings to work today and one student pointed and shouted, "Teacher! Wow, very sexy!"

Korean matchmaking

Because of my lack of blog updating, here's a little random Korean tidbit to appease the Amy fans (i.e. Nue).

Today was one of the first non-rainy days in quite a while, so having finished a long day of English camp and needing to get back into shape, I decided to go for a little run up and down a nearby hill/exercise area. Upon doing my uphill sprints, an old Korean man stops me and tries to ask me questions. I tell him I don't speak Korean well and that I am an American teaching English. He questions me over a million more things, those to which I respond in Korean "I can't speak Korean" or "I don't know". He asks me over and over if I have a boyfriend. When I continue to say no, he grabs my arm and tells me to go with him. I assume he has a grandson (because he told me he's 80...umm not into dating him or a son who is 50) he wants to introduce me to. I can't really understand what he is saying but that's what I like to pretend he said. This just goes to show how unreserved Koreans can be with approaching others for English lessons/marriage/sexual favors/etc...but don't worry, I have yet to indulge.

Anyway, although the [creepy] gesture was flattering, I was put off by this for numerous reasons:

1) I was in the middle of running, so I was huffing and puffing and I was dripping sweat like I spent the night in a sauna. Yes, super sexy.
2) No way was I going to follow him to his house because he's a creepy old man I randomly met atop a hill.
3) Even if I were to go to his house, why would I want to meet this possible love of my life looking like a dying cow?
4) While telling him 80 times I didn't understand Korean and wasn't interested in meeting his grandson or whoever, I got bit about 8 times by the damn mosquitos.
5) As many of you may already know (via Facebook), I burned my thighs 2 months ago and had to be bandaged up for a good month. Long story short, we were at a hookah bar (not to be confused with hooker) and someone tugged on the pipe and the hookah fell over and the burning coals on top fell right into my lap (I was wearing a skirt).


Now it's been nearly a month since they fully healed, so this is their current state of condition:


continued...he pointed to my burn scars and proceeded to gesture to me that I need to wear longer shorts to cover them.
5.5) He became the first person since the incident to negatively comment on my scars, and for that, I choose not to become a part of his family, even if his grandson turns out to be the hottest, most amazing man alive with a private jet and a mansion in over 10 countries.

There you go. That should keep you all satisfied for a few more months, yea?

Becoming accustomed to customs

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. While this statement is valid, sometimes when you're in Rome, you should just enjoy the scenery and make careful observations to absorb the differences in cultures while also respecting both traditions, regardless of how absurd it may seem to you. But I guess the former statement takes a lot less effort to say.

Things I've become accustomed to and/or absolutely love now:

- Children cleaning the schools. Screw child labor laws, it teaches them responsibility, discipline, and respect for authority.
- Using 2 hands when giving and receiving things to others.
- Bowing when greeting/saying goodbye others.
- Letting my students hug me and not feeling like I'm being watched for sexual molestation.
- Texting. A lot. I never really text back home.
- Being told I look Korean/being mistaken for a Korean.
- Crappy but fun Korean pop music
- The inescapable English craze that is taking over the nation (think Konglish)
- Never paying tip. Tip is not expected here and workers will even chase you down to give you your tip back if you leave any. And the best part is that they still treat you respectfully and nicely regardless.
- Tax included in EVERYTHING. It's a great feeling walking into a place and knowing EXACTLY how much money I will need to pay just by looking at the price tag.
- Lunch food. It comes in prison trays but is all homecooked and includes (among the main dish) rice/noodle, soup, meat, veggies, fruit, and kimchi.
- Being considered "big eyed." I pretty much grew up thinking I was a super chinky asian girl.
- The close-knit community at the schools. Where all the students are treated like family and teachers act like close relatives.
- Korea's transportation system. It goes everywhere and is ALWAYS on schedule.
- Cheap cab fare
- Openly drinking anytime, anywhere. In a cab, on a bus, in the morning, whenever,wherever.

Things I am accustomed to but not necessarily thrilled about:

- Squatters. #1 or #2, totally fine to use, but if there's a western toilet, I'm on it.
- Eating octopus.
- Last minute...no, SECOND changes.
- Laundry. Not only do washers suck here, but there are no dryers, so everything has to be hung. My clothes stretch out and look awkward after some time. And in the winter, it can take days to fully dry.
- Showers. Where's the tub? It's a tad annoying to have to roll up my pants every time I use the bathroom soon after I shower.
- Driving. It amazes me how many lights cars run through and how police don't do anything. And at many big intersections, it's free for all, first come first serve.
- Everything written in Korean (i.e. my computer at work). But this is expected.
- Open classes. Every semester, each teacher has to hold an "open class" to show other teachers your teaching methods which are in reality a reflection of your ability to be prepared 325842895 years in advance and bribe your students with pizza if they behave well and participate during it.
- Soju. It's terrible, but it's the Ju of Korea.
- Koreans rarely drink water while eating. I am dying of thirst by the end of my meal.
- Teachers yelling and humiliating their students in front of the entire class.
- Reputation and appearance dominates quality.
- There are no garbage bins anywhere on the streets.

Things I will NEVER become accustomed to:

- Wearing heels at all hours, including hiking mountains. That's just a sprained ankle waiting to happen.
- Eating dog soup. I'll never try.
- Being girly and non-athletic. I'm sorry, I'm not a typical Korean girl. Mostly because I'm not Korean.
- Corporal punishment in schools. While I have become more prone to disciplining students, I could never flat out hit them like the teachers do here.
- Smacking my lips/mouth while I eat or chew gum.
- Men constantly cheating on their wives, often with hookers. And the wives doing nothing about it.
- Men hitting women and it being okay because it's the culture. Very hush hush.
- Women not allowed to smoke in public. I don't smoke, but I hate waiting 5 minutes for an open stall because a lady has to smoke, and then trying to pee while inhaling the lingering smoke.
- Wearing 18 layers of makeup and waking up at 5am every morning to apply them.


So...maybe...when in Rome, just observe and be.

Into Year 2

I have gone home and am now back in Korea for Year 2. Home was good. I saw a lot of people, ate too much good food, spent time with the family, and got to speak English all the time.

In retrospect, Year 1 was amazing. I learned a lot about myself, westerners, and Koreans. I gained a better perspective on what it means to be Asian and how I can carry this mentality towards my own Hmong culture. I also learned that culture clashes go deeper than I previously believed, but with time and patience, clearer understandings can come about. I also learned that some people just don't get it and probably never will. I may not always get it, but I know for a fact that I at least try.

I came into this job with extremely high expectations. But anyone who's ever worked here knows that the system is inconsistent and always changing, so these expectations are often not met. And while it's frustrating and disappointing, if I try hard enough, I find other things to be thankful for. Things like how good it feels to have kids run and hug you when they see you and spend 10 minutes trying to explain how your hair looks like the girl nemesis in a Korean drama. And this comes from students who never made eye contact and refused to speak to you at the beginning of the year. The progress of their English abilities is minimal, but it's the little things that matter.

Living in this Korean culture has been rewarding and interesting. I won't get into details, so let's just say it had its up and downs. I thought hard and carefully about my decision to return for a second year. Since I've been back, standing alongside my decision has been tough. Aside from just missing my family, knowing I made another year long commitment only creates more doubt. So I promised myself I'd overcome these insecurities simply by changing my way of thinking.

I decided that I'd work harder on my Korean so that communication would be less of a barrier. I would also try my best to eat foods I avoided all year to make meals smoother (I am trying to eat mushrooms and octopus all the time--not quite there yet). I would accept the fact that my teaching material can sometimes appear mundane and repetitive. And I would not be easily frustrated by the changes and disappointments that often take place in this education system.

But within the first two weeks of school, I was broken. The day before school started I got a new co-teacher. This was a great thing. But then on the first day of school, I learned I would not teach at my small school (which I loved) and would all of a sudden teach at 2 middle schools (which I had never done before). I was immediately frustrated that my seniority meant nothing or that I wasn't notified sooner. Then I was told my after school pay was being reduced. And then my salary was also being reduced (or rather, was written incorrectly), despite what EPIK had declared. Then I learned I was actually correct and got my salary upped again after all the agony of arguing.

Then I decided to accept my position at the middle schools and taught one day at one of them. I was immediately charmed by the students, the teachers, and the school...only to learn the next day that I was being kicked out and sent to the elementary school.

I take my job quite seriously, and now it feels like I'm just a big joke. All the change is exhausting and leading me to believe I made the wrong decision to come back. At this point it's either let it go or go home. And I don't want to go home. You'd think after a year of this, you'd get used to it. But somehow they still always seem to know how to get you. It's push push push until you can't take it anymore. But now all that's left is to just push back. The ultimate test. No expectations = no disappointments.

When I lived in Chile, I think I was so desperate to get away that I dealt with the cultural differences easily and nothing seemed to bother me. But since I made this choice to come to Korea, knowing what was left behind, I feel the need to be more satisfied with my decision. But I often lose sight of the fact that I still make a decent income, I have a home, I'm healthy, I never go hungry, and I'm constantly developing experiences and memories to last a lifetime. This decision is a good one if I allow it to be.

At the end of the day, it's really all about the students and their willingness to talk with you, the teachers that cheer for you when you make an awesome serve in volleyball and then make sure you're well fed, the black belt with your name on it, the friendships you will always remember, the self-awareness that develops, the gained perspective on the world, and the Korean men who suit up so well they make Barney Stinson jealous.

Pop a squat!

Disclaimer #1: This blog entry is for Justin, who likes to remind me of my pathetic failure to update this blog as often he updates his. So with this crappy (pun intended) post, here's to you, Justin.

Disclaimer #2: This is a shitty post (pun intended). It's not about how wonderful flowers smell or how beautiful the sunset is. It's rated PG-2 for the urinating/pooping outside of a diaper audience. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Disclaimer #3: I am writing this while sitting next to the boys battling it out in an intense game of Starcraft at a PC 방 (room). I tried to just play Tetris but the plethora of Starcraft games going on lagged my game and I kept falling into 5th place because of it in the Sprint 5P game on Facebook. And my friend is playing the same damn Korean song ballad over and over. It's a shame because I really liked it and I predict that after tonight I will hate it.

Okay, to the real story. SQUATTERS. So I've spent nearly a year with these good fellows and well, today reminded me of the good times we've shared. Despite my newly developed legs of steel (entirely due to squatters and none to Taekwondo), it's been quite a relationship. We've had some joyful moments, we've shared some laughs, but we definitely also had some poopers (literally).

Every relationship begins with a bit of awkwardness. How do I approach it? I don't want to scare it off right away. I should be gentle. If I come on too strong that could be a disaster. Take it slow, Amy. But...how do I charm it? Will it be kind to me and accept me? How can I ease this tension?

I flush for good measure.

Seems to be working alright. Okay, so we've broken the ice. So now it's all about reading each other and knowing how not to piss (pun intended) each other off. Which direction do I face? So do I take off my pants entirely? How far down do I squat?

Squat...squat...squat...annnnnnnd GO! SUCCESS! Whew! Relationship established.

But in every long lasting relationship comes the first quarrel. A lot of times it's shitty. And in this case, super shitty. Stop reading now if you're disgusted easily, because I may easily disgust you now.

I went out with my school at the beginning of the school year. We had a large raw beef and seafood dinner (meh) and then went to the norae bang (singing room). That undelish food didn't settle too well so I rushed to the bathroom, which of course had a long line of my school staff. When it was finally my turn, it HAD to be the squatter. I wasn't ready for that step in our relationship yet, but things (aka my stomach) had taken a turn for the worst. So in a hurry, I just ripped off my bottoms and let myself go! And after full relief (I told you, gross), I looked up to find NO toilet paper! So the other teacher waiting after me comes in and I'm scrambling to ask her for some more (A LOT more) in my non-existent Korean. Welcome to the school!

But this helped break into our relationship and it's been pretty good ever since. We still managed to have our ups and downs, though. Like the time I was in such a hurry to catch the bus after school that I pissed myself off! Like, pissed all over the bottom of my pants. Or the time I found a dead baby rat floating around in my school's bathroom. Or every time I walk into an unflushed squatter (or even worse a blasted disaster) from someone's previous poop-a-thon. Or when I take a step back and my foot accidentally falls in. Or how drunkees can't aim well and puke lands all over the sides, making me nearly do the splits just to pee. And can't forget the rebounded pounds and liters of intestinal excess (little bouncers).

And today another misadventure consisted of me doing my urine sample at the hospital for some drug test. I had to pee badly but urine sampling over squatters makes me nervous. So it took me 5 minutes just to drop a drip, and as I shift myself for a better position, I drop my cup and scream "I GO!!!" (Korean version of "SHIT!"). And then it takes me another 10 minutes to finally fill the damn cup.

Anyway, it's been a rough year, but I think Squatter and I will make it through. Nothing can tear us apart. Except maybe a door stall, because if it's closed and locked, it means he's with someone else.

Bastard.

And I'm officially sick of this Korean song.

My President is a WHAT?

One of the most fascinating observations about being a native English teacher in Korea is the pronunciation of the Koreans (also known as Konglish). Some of the most common mistakes are due to pronouncing sounds that don't exist in their own language.

For example, the /r/ and /l/ liquids and the /b/ and /v/ sounds:

"Teacher, today I go swimming in the leeber." [river]

Another example is how Koreans cannot end their words with certain consonants:

"Teacher, time to eat lunchee."
"Okay, turn to pagee 42."
"Nice-uh!"

Or because "see" sounds would be pronounced "shee" in Korean:

"I go watch moobee in sheenema." [I am going to watch a movie at the cinema]

And probably the most common error, confusing the /p/ and /f/ sounds:

"Teacher, me see you handuh pone." [Teacher, can I see your cell phone?]
"Teacher, my priend, he pool!" [Teacher, my friend is a fool]

So then you get sentences such as this:

"Teacher, I go to the shitty leeber to habba picuh-nic and eat lice and pork-uh poor lunchee. Today my birthday. Please-uh, gibba me gipat-uh." [Teacher, I'm going to the city's river to have a picnic and eat rice and pork for lunch. Today is my birthday, so please give me a gift.]

Just when I thought I heard it all, this was the icing on the cake.

For our lesson today, my co-teacher had a picture of George Bush on a power point because he was playing a guitar (lesson topic: What do you want to do?...I want to play the guitar). And while a few said "Georgee Bushee!" a majority of them yelled out...

"Georgee Pussy!"

I thought for a second about correcting them, but I only correct my students when they are wrong.

Missy out, Donna in

A recent purchase of mine was one of my greatest ideas since my arrival to Korea. When I was in Cambodia, my friend and I rented mopeds to ride through the countryside and absolutely LOVED it. So when I came back to Korea, I had to get one for myself. It was a brilliant idea because I could use it to ride through the lovely countryside to work and I could go visit many beautiful sites in and around my town all on my own. Plus it's upped me a whole lot on the coolness meter with my students when they see me cruising on my very own Prima autobike.

Welcome to Amy's world, my dear friend, Donna (get it? Prima...Donna):


Yes, check out the bullet holes on my muffler. I had to dodge the bullets from the local market using my fantastic ninja-like skillz when I didn't pay for my sHite beer.

I feel a bit bad because this means dear ole faithful Missy has been left out in the cold. I stuffed her into a hallway corner and she's now resorted to being the hall garbage tin where annoying teenagers that hang around the building like to dump their trash. Oh well, Missy always was a bit of a whore. It's only natural for her to attract other trashy things.

A while ago, I went to check on my moped's engine because it sounded funny. I went into the shop where I bought my moped at (since he offered 1 month free engine maintenance) with my Korean friend (who helps translate). But when I got there, he looked at it and with a red face and minimal eye contact, he said it was fine and that there's nothing wrong with it. Then as I kept pushing for him to at least check it, he stopped talking and finally admitted he was really drunk and that I'd have to leave it overnight and he'll look at it first thing the next morning.

This was at 4:00pm, a time when business is still going on and people need their bikes fixed. But it's no surprise since stores and other businesses open and close as they please.

But that's Korea for you!

Oh the things you get to see in the countryside with a ride as sweet as Donna. Oh sweet Donna.

And the curse continues...

I know a lot of this is not really a curse and is really just due to Korean ways. But let's analyze for a moment anyway.

This is post-torrential rainstorm from camp #1 after the river washed up the rocks:


At elementary English camp #1 (read previous post), we were supplied with an overabundance of water from a torrential rainstorm. At elementary English camp #2, we hardly had any water! On day 1 the water had turned off and those in charge spent the entire day trying to fix it. For a few hours we had no water = kids could not wash their hands or shower or use the toilet. We were also worried because the following day was our water games day.

They had to bring in a firetruck in the evening to pump water from the river to give everyone just enough time to take quick cold showers.


Hmmm...and of course it rained on our water day and was beaming HOT and sunny on our active running day. We were also 20 students short of what we were told. And supplies went missing. And blah blah blah this camp was a curse.

But we were highly complimented on our hard earned efforts and ability to manage the crises. I say...well done.

CURSE: BITE ME!

p.s. I love my students. They're my bundles of joy.

The Curse of the English Camp

As I stated previously, planning for my elementary English camp was a pain the ass. And thus, I have declared the entire thing to be a curse. Here is why:

1) Initially we were informed there would only be 25 students. Then later told it was 75.

2) They changed the dates about 3 or 4 times.

3) We were never notified if there were going to be other native teachers working (there's 3 in Bonghwa but 1 had his own camps to do)

4) For our very first meeting (just about 3 weeks prior to camps), no one had prepared any sort of lesson plan. All that was available was a time schedule to follow.

5) The other native teacher and I planned EVERYTHING alone.

6) We find out we have 3 other native teachers, supposedly from South America. Why the hell would there be native English speakers from South AMERICA?

7) Nope, they're from South Africa.

8) The other native teachers live in a different city so are not available for any meetings.

8) Then there's just the whole pay situation. We were promised one thing, offered another (significantly less). This was frustrating because we spent countless hours planning by ourselves with no help from the other native teachers nor the Korean teachers.

9) The supervisor tells us we have to pay for all our supplies. WTF.

10) They were only going to give us 4 Korean teachers for 5 groups. Elementary kids do not speak that much English.

11) A week before camps, one native teacher fractures his knee and can no longer work the camp.

12) The other teacher and I have to restructure everything to make 4 groups instead of 5. And yes, by ourselves.

13) At 9:00pm the night before the first camp, one of the other native teachers is being rushed to the hospital due to a stroke (later find out it's a seizure) and her husband (the other native teacher) is going with her. So we now are down to TWO native teachers for 75 kids. Luckily, one of our friends was on vacation and was willing to help us out. We also eventually found another teacher from Yeongju as well.

14) We are not given any say in the opening ceremony, which of course was performed all in KOREAN at an ENGLISH camp.

15) Supplies...either missing or useless.

16) Everything for the most part was going well. Then we realized we were not invited to speak at the closing ceremony. They wanted it to all be formal and in Korean. While we understand the cultural aspect of having the chief of education there, we felt it was our duty as native teachers AND camp planners/organizers/runners to be at least a PART of the ceremony. A Korean teacher was going to give the speech in her broken and poor English using incredibly big words that children would not understand. When we asked if we could speak, we were denied this, which made us feel like our roles were unimportant. We had a big argument about that.

17) On our last day (the day we spend all outside playing water games), there was major flooding going on because it had rained all night long. The clear river turned muddy brown and underwent an enormous mood change:




Our food source could no longer drive to our camp because the roads were blocked due to mudslides and the fact that the roads were basically collapsing. So we had to drive all 75 kids to a nearby restaurant to feed them breakfast in the torrential rainstorm. We finally convinced the Korean teachers to buy a ton of snacks in case we got stuck at camp and had no more food. For our lunch, they went out and bought 85 cups of ramen noodles.


Since the roads were closed, our other 2 native teachers were not coming to camp since they had not slept over like we did (and it's about an hour away from Yeongju). So the other native teacher and I were stuck with 75 kids all day INSIDE while the Korean teachers were running around doing various crisis things. We got stuck playing a million random games just to keep them busy. Unfortunately, it was too hard to make them all that much English-stimulating, but we had to step up all alone and handle the kids by ourselves, so there shouldn't be any complaining.

We were supposed to leave right after lunch, but we were not free to go until 5pm when bulldozers were brought out to open up the roads, giving us a small time window to let us take the kids home. This is why the day was so messy:


So the whole camp process was a bundle of joy. Camp 1 is finished and I cannot believe I survived. It was the biggest pain in the ass I've had during my time in Korea...but if it weren't for the kids, I wouldn't still love my job.

The kids playing Horse, Love, Piggy Back. A good time. Watch the partners with one small kid one big kid when they do piggy back. A laugh worthy time.



Hello, my name is Amy and I am an English Camp survivor.

*applause* WELCOME AMY!

Koreanization

In the spirit of Korea, I decided to cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. Twice. First time it looked like I had a lingering mullet. I tried to get it fixed the second time around and instead she just cut it shorter and shorter until it became this:


I got mixed reviews. Of course, my students with similar haircuts absolutely loved it! What I love/hate about Koreans is their honesty. Many others praised my new haircut as well and I knew they were telling the truth because of the expressions on their faces when they first saw me. And those who didn't like it much told me up front they liked my long hair better. There was no sugarcoating, no fake facial expressions. If their eyes widened and they smiled when they saw me, I know they liked it. If they looked indifferent or started shaking their head or whining "Aaaaamy/Miss Kueeeeee/Teeeachaaa I likeuh you hair longuh" it's pretty obvious they aren't fans.

The rest just said I look prettier than before. Hmm.

When I'm brave enough to REALLY be Korean, I'll walk around like this:

Vanity Affair

I drank a lot of coffee today.

I think someone spiked my 3/4 cup of coffee with sugar. I have a very odd buzz yet I still can't shake off the yawning. I'm not a coffee drinker so I am still not used to the shaking.

Lately I've been weirded out a lot by the number of mirrors I run into during the day. This starts in my bathroom, my vanity, and my shoe foyer area where a mirror hangs. Then there's one in the elevator. Then I sit on the long grueling bus ride to work and watch as half of the bus passengers (half being high school students) pull out little compacts to check themselves out. Then this persists all day because every single classroom has a mirror hanging in the middle of the room and there are mirrors all throughout the halls. And if there aren't any around, there's plenty of glass to use to check one's reflection. I'm almost jealous of these mirrors because they get more attention from people than I do. Thankfully the children are still young and refrain from checking out their beautiful faces often, unlike all of the adults...and as of late, including me...



I remember my first experience in a Korean elevator at our hotel during orientation and the entire inside of it was mirrors! How awkward it was to be cramped into a tiny elevator with 8 other people you barely know and not able to look up anywhere without looking directly at someone else's reflection. The elevator mirror thing is still very common around other parts of the country. I find myself just staring at the buttons as a way to avoid any sort of eye contact. Even then I can sometimes accidentally connect eyes with someone else.

Appearance is huge here. Ladies dress up for any occasion, such as taking out the garbage. The whiter your skin, the more beautiful you are (guess I'm almost there!). Women typically wear 18 layers of foundation to achieve this effect. There's even skin whitening cream! From far away they all look like beautiful porcelain dolls...but oh man, up close it's like Hurricane Katrina reincarnated. Within 3 feet of a Korean woman's face, you can see this map of the Amazon. It's not pretty. But I think this is mostly due to the layers and layers of foundation, not the natural skin. Maybe.

Women can't not wear heels anywhere within the country. Apparently heels are quite versatile...a single pair can carry you through a 5 mile rigorous hike, across the trenches during a war battle, or even across the Atlantic Ocean. I was unaware of how resourceful heels can be. I feel I must buy a pair right now and engage in anything I want to because I'm wearing heels!

I think I'll go run a marathon with mine to break them in.

Korean street racing: the real experience

Yesterday was an interesting day. Two other friends and I all have May birthdays, so we had planned to have a combined "all day birthday fest" together. We spent the entire day tanning, grilling, and playing on the beach on a gorgeous day. Then we all headed over to some friends' house for some more partying. The night was going well, we taught some of them good ole Flip Cup (USA vs. the rest of the world), danced, played games, had cake, etc...Most of the people left a bit early but the few of us remaining were determined to keep the fun going. So we decided to head out to Yeongju's probably only existing nightclub....until...

The taxi was strolling (at a relatively fast speed) down a near empty street when a car on the right pulled out. And while the taxi driver swerved a bit out of the way, he didn't swerve far enough and the other car nailed us hard on the right side. In shock, we all got out to see that 2 of us had hit their heads on the window and one was lying across us and had hit her hip on a chair. I think I underwent a bit of whiplash. Thankfully none of us were seriously injured, but it was quite frightening. What was worse was trying to explain things in our barely non-existent Korean and their non-existent English.

We're all fine, but a little shaken up by what happened. We were told the driver who hit us went to the police station, but we want to know what is going to happen to us and whether or not they'll be reprimanded. But apparently all that happens is that the driver that hit us has to pay for the damages and our taxi driver was fired for allowing 5 passengers and not telling us to fasten our seatbelts.

The situation not only put a damper on our evening but it really scared me as a foreigner. I'm riding in cars nearly everyday during super busy traffic hours and have luckily never been hit. But the one time we're on a nearly empty street, we are. Koreans don't look over their shoulders when switching lanes so obviously someone's eventually going to get hit. I've lived abroad before but never imagined what it'd be like to be living in a country where you can't communicate with the locals during situations like this. It's scary to know that something bad could happen to you and no one would understand where you are coming from or know how to help you. It was a real slap in the face. I don't want to be put in a situation like that again and not be able to back myself up. I'm even more determined to work on my Korean now.

Anyway, it was pretty crazy and unfortunately, we just went home. I'm doing fine but it was just too surreal.

I really REALLY hate Korean drivers. It's one of the most screwed up driving systems.

I just ate live octopus

So one of Koreans' favorite dishes is sannakji, a live octopus chopped up and served ready to eat. Okay, it's not really alive, but its relentless movement after being chopped up gives it that "still alive" effect, so it is very creepy indeed. Back home I wouldn't even dream about touching it, but seeing how I'm in a new country with a different culture, I figured why not. I've tried semi-cooked octopus already along with pig intestine, raw beef, and other stuff I'm not even sure what they are.



I never thought I'd eat something "alive" but I promised myself I'd at least try it once before leaving South Korea. Surprisingly, I had the guts to try it 2 months in. Of course, I freaked out. I was told that if you don't eat it fast enough, its tentacles will suck onto your throat and cause you to choke. So I chewed it at a superhuman speed.

Don't mind the poorly handled use of chopsticks. I did say I highly dislike the metal chopsticks.



Not bad. Delicious even. It's really not all that it's hyped up to be. After eating this, my coteacher said, "Okay, I think now you are Korean!"

I still don't think I will ever try silkworm larvae, though. Then again, I said the same thing about live octopus.

Scattered thoughts and other things

I haven't updated in a while, so here are some random thoughts and other things I've done over the past few weeks.

I went to Seoul last weekend and explored many wonderful things. My friend Nick and I went to Lotte World, an indoor/outdoor amusement park with rides, games, food, museums, and an ice skating rink.


We also went to an Ice Bar where you are given a thermal coat and gloves and taken into a giant refrigerator room made of ice walls and ice sculptures and ice cups. Very COOL.


Also found the coolest karaoke place (norae bang) ever. It came with free ice cream, a lofty 2 story room, and a window view so that everyone on the street could watch you sing your soul out. And probably the cheapest one I've ever been to!




I also went to the Bullfighting Festival in Cheongdo (my very first festival in Korea). It was a 4 hour train ride, so we were a bit exhausted by the time we got there. It was pretty interesting, but it turned out that it wasn't so much bullfighting as it was bullnudging. They nudge each other until one gives up and runs away. Still an interesting experience nonetheless.

I thought not having a dryer would be neat, as I love hang drying clothes. But I don't have a patio so they take forever to dry. Also, my clothes are bigger on me, but I have no idea if it's due to losing weight or just that my clothes are outstretched from hang drying.

Some classes I love because students actually pay attention and answer questions and really get into the activities. Some classes I walk in and immediately want to walk out and start wondering how fast 40 minutes can go. I started teaching 1st graders, though, and while they know NO English, they are the cutest little darlings and I just want to stick them all in my pocket.

In other news, I witnessed corporal punishment for the first time. One of my coteachers went up and hit a boy on the back of his head. Surprisingly, I was indifferent. Children also hit each other like crazy here. And it's taken pretty lightly. One girl smacked a boy in front of her really hard with her book and moaned in anger. My coteacher just turned and stared while she did it again, waiting for her to be done, but not saying anything about it. WOW. She'd be sent to the naughty room if this were in Madison!

My main handler coteacher has been throwing things at me very last minute (oh, no classes today because it's Science Day and everyone's working on projects OR Hi, do you want to use your summer vacation on so and so dates? Please tell me by Monday even though today is Friday and summer vacation isn't for another 4 months). I often find myself blaming her for everything (even if it's not always her fault) and putting all my frustration on her for not telling me sooner, so our relationship has changed a lot and I find myself not wanting to be around her. She's also been "too busy" in the mornings so I am now taking the bus to school. It costs more but I don't mind because then I get a chance to catch up on episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" and "30 Rock" while still avoiding awkward silences we have during the 20 min car ride. With many of my teachers, instead of me learning Korean better, I feel incredibly selfish and ignorant thinking they should learn English better so that they communicate with me since they have a better grasp of English than I do with Korean. This entire situation needs work.

I haven't received a bill from my gas company so my coteacher tried contacting them to get a price. And it turned out I only owe about $15 in gas, electricity, and water. But the company didn't believe what I had written when I recorded my gas usage so they made my CT come to my apartment to double check. Geez, it's called CONSERVATION. Apparently, I can't read numbers because English numbers are the same as Korean numbers. BULLOCKS.

This is why you do not stray from default: I once asked the lunchlady to give me a little more rice because we were having one of my favorite soups that day, so everyday since she's been giving me a wide load of rice. TOO MANY CARBS.

Sometimes, I just want to use a fork. Metal chopsticks hurt.

And every time I walk into a public restroom and find a western style toilet, I feel like I've won the lottery. Powerball too if there's toilet paper.

Athletic women

I may be generalizing...

but athletic women rarely exist in my part of town. Well, in all of South Korea apparently. When I tell Koreans that I love love love soccer, they say "cool" but I'm sure they're thinking "Ew. She plays sports and doesn't walk around in heels all day and doesn't add 18 layers of foundation? She's probably a lesbian!" (have you seen the women that play for the national team?!?). It's fun trying to explain how big women playing soccer is in the States. Let alone any [contact] sport.

I'm glad the kids don't care. They just love that a teacher is willing to play with them for once. I played soccer and basketball with 3 of my favorite girl students today and realized 1) how out of shape I am! 2) that I am 23, not 13 and 3) some of the most fun I've had in Korea have been with these girls.

We also had a teacher volleyball match after school. I was really excited to finally be getting into some of the social physical activities, until I realized I was the only female playing with about 15 men! I think we were all thrown off by that at first, and I even felt like they might've been a bit hesitant and sexist about me playing. But then I'd make a good hit and they'd be impressed. I was taken back a bit because even though I CAN play volleyball, I'm still pretty awful at it. But I think they understand that maybe women play more sports in the USA than they do in Korea?

Of course, all the female teachers were busy preparing a late afternoon snack/pre-dinner session in the cafeteria. I fear I may have grown a penis and a little chest hair throughout this whole ordeal!

Anyway, I'm glad I thought better against bringing my soccer cleats with me, seeing how I will most likely never use them. This saddens me. (Which is okay, because most are just dirt fields anyway).

Communication is key

com·mu·ni·ca·tion /kəˌmyunɪˈkeɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated.
2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted.
4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc.
5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage, between places.
Biology. a. activity by one organism that changes or has the potential to change the behavior of other organisms.

Communication has been quite the roller coaster for me over the last few weeks. It comes and goes in various forms and with either brilliant charm or passionate disaster. Here are a few communication blunders and triumphs.

My coteacher is now sick and I think she caught it from me. But I place the
blame entirely on her because I did not ask her to stick her face 3cm in
front of mine when she spoke to me. If only she knew I could still hear her
from more than 4cm away, she'd be in perfect health. Lesson learned, eh? Also, even female strangers I'd met 8 seconds before would get really close to me and often clasp my arm in hers...and that sort of immediate intimacy freaks me out. Males in particular do not hold back in terms of being affectionate with their friends. They will hold hands with one another, walk arm to waist like it's no big deal. It's a bit weird coming from a society where every little gesture propagates homophobia. But I admit I do like it and think it's cute.

I befriended the daughter of my coteacher's friend, who speaks very minimal English. We had planned to go see a movie, which I thought was clever so that we didn't have to talk. But seeing how it was a Korean film with no subtitles, we thought against it and just walked around. It was tough at times to find things to talk about but we did our best with pointing and circumnavigating that I think we created a small bond. She bought me a gift and I bought her strawberries. And we took sticker pictures together.

Students love to flatter me:
"Miss Kue so beautiful!"
"Miss Kue so pretty! NO she's wonderful. NO SHE'S UNBELIEVABLE!"

Student: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don't.
Student: Why? You so beautiful!

I also think it's funny when adults ask me if I have a boyfriend, and when I say no, they ask if I plan to. That must be the reason I've been single! I never PLANNED having a boyfriend. I'm going to work on a blueprint tonight.

I enjoy how the word "maybe" is used for every uncertainty. "So did you just go to the bathroom?" "Eh...maybe." *nod* "Where did your parents go?" "To the store maybe."

I have a "coteacher" that knows NO English, so it had been frustrating working with him. No communication is automatically miscommunication. I had to use another English teacher as means of communication--whew! Ended up coming up with a good teaching arrangement conducive to both our teaching plans.

2 older male teachers always say "Good morning!!" to me when they see me and then always start bursting with laughter at their English like it's the funniest thing in the world. This has happened already over 30 times. And the laugh has not changed. NOT EVEN JOKING. It was cute the first 15 times but now it's getting annoying. Come on, is it really that funny to say "good morning" in another language when you do it every single day?

I am getting very used to bowing. Most of the time I am not even sure, so I just bow just in case. It's helpful to watch and wait until I have eye contact with someone and then as they start to bow I will do it with near automatic reflex so that it looks natural (as if I was going to bow anyway).

I wish I did understand more Korean, though. One reason being I would like to sit in classes and watch how subjects are taught in Korean. Secondly, I know people around me are always talking about me. I just wish I knew WHAT they were saying (regardless if it's good or bad). Also, not verbally communicating with teachers throughout the day makes things not only frustrating, but boring...so I get tired very easily.

I'm getting tired of saying "hello" and "hi" a million times a day--it may be the only lick of English I'll remember upon my return home.

This may not really tie in, but it's been bugging me lately. Many Koreans I know chew SO loud. I really can't stand it. One in particular is always making these dry mouth noises so I have to try to think of something to talk about. They also chew gum louder than I thought possible. I went home and tried it for myself, just to see if it was actually quite liberating...but I tried so hard and couldn't even get it to their level. It's just a big pet peeve of mine. Yes, the mouth opens. But it also closes.

Last but not least, I am now Bonghwa elementary schools' official Human Tape Recorder, HaTeR for short.

Fast & the Furious 4: Korean Street Racing

A few friends and I went to Haeinsa Temple on Sunday to visit a very beautiful Buddhist temple holding Tripitaka Koreana, which are over 80,000 Buddhist scriptures carved onto preserved wooden printing blocks from the 1300s. There was the surrounding Gaya Mountain, one of South Korea's largest. Basically...way cool. See photo gallery for visuals (too lazy to post on here).

We had to take the bus back to the city of Daegu, where we would then take another bus back to our city of Yeongju. We arrived by 7pm and there were 3 more buses left for the night...but all were sold out! So stranded and knowing we had to work the next morning, a Korean man from Yeongju approached us and asked if we wanted to split a taxi back, which costs us about $35/each (ouch). So we had to take it. And then the adventure began...

At the beginning, we were going at a relatively normal speed, maybe 120 km/hr (~75 mph). Then all of a sudden, we were sent off into a warped zone (perhaps an alternate universe) and speed jumped about 60 km/hr. So yes, my friends, for nearly the entire way back to Yeongju (normally a 1.5hr ride) we were speeding at a rate of yes, 180-190 km/hr, equivalent to 110-115 mph...and a frequent high of 200 km/hr, which is about 125 mph. He maybe slowed down to 100mph around sharp curves and around other cars, honking at them to get out of his way before he hits them and kills all of his passengers (us). I was also the only one without seatbelt access. One of us did at one time ask him to slow down but that obviously made no difference. In fact, I think he went faster (she had used the impolite form apparently--oops). He also at one point had no passing lane, so he decided to speed along the shoulder of a dangerous curve, which I'm pretty sure took about 10 years off my life. Here's the nutty part (as if it wasn't already nutty enough): we were approaching a police car and we were all SO relieved to know that he'd finally be slowing down...only to find him honking at the police car and perhaps even increasing his speed. OH. MY. Apparently cops don't pull over for speeding. Instead, there are video cameras along the streets to "capture" the speeding cars. But the driver later told us that if you go over 180km/hr they can't capture you on camera.

So imagine a really cool simulated racing game (i.e. Need For Speed or Cruisin' USA) where you're rapidly passing every car on the road and then you hit some wall and spin around and crash and burn. This was exactly that, only you don't magically reappear after you crash. You can imagine it was about the best moment of my life. And this is only because I realized how much I love life and dying would not grant me that satisfaction. You know how people say your life flashes before your eyes when you're having a near-death experience? Well, I think those people make that up. Because my near-death experience consisted of a lot of "Oh f*ck f*ck f*ck" thoughts. And that was it. I now truly understand the meaning of this t-shirt (cleverly made for foreigners by foreigners).

It was great how we were able to laugh at the situation and talked about what death would be like. Of course, it was a very heavy nervous laugh.

I once thought being a racer would be killer...yes indeed, it would be A killer.

I am alive, don't worry. Unless they have blogging in the afterlife, then wow! Not that different in the afterlife, I guess.

That's Korea for you

Um. Slightly frustrated.

Yesterday was the first day of English class at Bonghwa Elementary. I prepared a little powerpoint introduction of myself (I thought it was quite brilliant). It was a good thing I brought my laptop with me because after 1 class, the heater messed up the electricity of the room and the teacher's computer wasn't working anymore. The kids loved my powerpoint and surprisingly, they understood almost all of it.

It was great being in front of a class again, but I was very frustrated during a lot of it. The kids were not necessarily naughty or anything, but they would NOT stop talking. I was frustrated because my coteacher was not doing anything. Every once in a while she'd say "be quiet" but did not enforce it so kids were talking like crazy while others were giving their introductions. I was almost willing to condone corporal punishment because it was so noisy! Anyway, other than that, the day was fairly boring.

At lunchtime a random teacher kept talking to me in English and invited me to all of these things (and her house) because she wanted to learn English. I don't mind, but it's a little overwhelming having all these people clinging on to you because they want to learn English so desperately. It's flattering but sometimes I need my space fo realz. I've gotten over the gist of my sickness, but now I have a visit from Aunt Flo (which might explain my abnormal foul mood and complaining), so I was cramping and not very hungry (not to mention this school's food isn't as good as my base school) so I ended up throwing a lot of food away. This teacher kind of scolded me and said that everyone eats their food otherwise it is wasted. I just said I wasn't really hungry, but I was really just thinking (and PMSing) "BACK OFF! THIS FOOD IS TERRIBLE AND I'M CRAMPING AND DO NOT FEEL LIKE BEING ADVENTUROUS IN MY FOOD TODAY SO LEAVE ME ALONE!" But I just bowed and walked away.

I then had to walk back to my base school but took a detour and walked alongside the river. It was a site to see because the city is small but very open to the mountains. And lucky for me, it was a GORGEOUS day. There were mushrooms everywhere! Apparently, Bonghwa holds an annual Pine Tree Mushroom Festival because they have a lot of those growing on the mountains. It's too bad I don't like mushrooms.

When I got to my base school, I asked my coteacher for her and my schedule. She hands me mine and it's got 2 more classes added to it: 2 days of after school English conversation and 2 days of teacher's study. And of course, she just walks away and doesn't inform me at all about it. Turns out I have to teach another conversational class to students and then on top of that stay late to teach English to some local teachers. I don't mind doing it, but I really would like to KNOW that I have to do it instead of one day being asked to stay late and teach without even being aware of it. Oh and then also having to wait for the teachers to choose a textbook. It's so great only knowing what's going on with my job because I ask and never because they decide to let me know even when they know themselves.

Speaking of which, I loved walking out of the school to FINALLY go home and my coteacher saying "oh yes, we are going to another dinner." Ugh, I just wanted to go home!

But yea yea, I guess "that's Korea for you."

My first week in Yeongju in a VERY large nutshell

It has been an eventful week. Read at your own risk--this is very long!

For my BW3s peeps (Shelly, Gilbert, Norma, Carolyn): At orientation, after one of the lectures, the EPIK staff provided for us some delish chicken with a sweet and soury batter. My buddy Dan and I were so in love with them that we hunted this place down and ordered some for ourselves. Being so far away from Buffalo Wild Wings has been a travesty. I have now found the closest replacement to my BW3s and hope to give them as much tender, love, and care as I did to my parmesan garlic and honey bbq wings.


On the first day of school, all the new staff and teachers (myself included) were taken into another room where the Principal sat at a desk with a beautiful mountainous view backdrop and the rest of us had to stand against the wall. They whipped out a video camera where the Vice Principal introduced all of us. I had to bow into the camera. I have no idea where this footage is going to be shown.

I spent the entire week doing absolutely nothing. I practiced some Korean, wrote in my journal, watched some episodes of the Office on my Ipod, and when I was finally hooked up to the internet on Friday, I surfed the net. Very eventful. I am anxious to get into the classroom!

I did observe one teacher's 6th grade class one day and met all of his students (I will be teaching them English). I sat in the back of class and as the teacher was going on about Korean history and trying to explain some of it in English for me, the students kept looking back and staring at me like I was going to suddenly turn into an alien. During the break, a lot of the students came up to me to introduce themselves. I was impressed with some of their language skills as well as their eagerness to show me how much they already know. One particular girl told me it is her dream to go to America because she thinks the boy from "A Cinderella Story" is very very very very handsome (I later remembered the actor's name as Chad Michael Murray).

Lunch at the schools is awesome! Unlike back home, all of the food is cooked in the kitchen an there's something different every day. No more pre-packaged nasty stuff. However, they are served on prison trays:



After lunch the female teachers always meet in the science room to brush our teeth. Then we sit and have tea together. It is strange that we have a one hour break for lunch and then spend a good another hour just chatting and having tea. These teachers are quite a friendly bunch and love trying to show off their VERY minimal English skills.

On the first day of school, all the staff went out to dinner as a welcome party. We went to a local restaurant with floor seating. They would bring a few dishes at a time that everyone would pick at. Then the food just kept coming and coming. I swear it was neverending. THERE WAS SO MUCH FOOD. We went out to dinner a second time and had a very delish meal again, a very spicy beef stew:



And a ton of Soju (Korean's version of a cheap watered down vodka) and beer. I tried to try most things, some of them new for me (like eating raw beef). I did fairly well this time around with sitting on the floor by warming up the circulation my legs with chopsticks and then alternating my legs every few minutes. The rest of the time was spent giving each other shots. Then, as is huge in Korean culture, the entire group went out to a norae bang (karaoke room). I had been to a few during orientation with other foreigners and that was a grand time!


They provide tambourines for the percussion part of any song.


At the norae bang, most of the men were drunk, so they often came up to me and tried to speak in English. I had some funny conversations with them. From all of these, I basically learned that Soju is the best. They are way into these norae bangs and it's very amusing. I was even coerced into singing. I was going to bust in with some hardcore Nirvana or Eminem but decided with better judgment to go with Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl." Then I did another rendition of "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness, but I don't think anyone understood why I was trying to sing most of it in falsetto. My principal is a super kind man as well and has been very worried about my state of being here. It is very heartwarming.

It snowed for the first time since I've been here and it is SO much more beautiful than back home. There are so many more trees and mountains to really enhance the fall of snow. I wish I had taken more photos of the drive to Bonghwa because the view was breathtaking. Here are a few shots I managed to take in Bonghwa. At the school everyone was so fascinated by the snow we took many group shots. Luckily we had a nice view behind Naesung Elementary.


My coteacher, Chun Hee, and I



The view of the mountains after most of the snow had melted. This was taken on our way to Andong. Come spring these should be blooming with beautiful flowers. I cannot wait!

One of the mornings we had decided to take the bus to school because my coteacher is afraid of driving in the snow. As we were waiting for the bus, a taxi pulled up and offered to drive us to the school for 2,000 Won each (about $2) whereas bus is 1,800 Won ($1.80) so only being .20 more we took it. Turns out my ride was free because the driver had 2 grandchildren at Naesung Elementary and was very grateful to have me there as an English teacher. I was very flattered to know that my services will
be appreciated!

I was also taken to the Bonghwa Education Office to meet the superintendent and other supervisors. My coteacher told me (at least this is how she translated it) that the supervisor said because I am asian, everyone has been very friendly to me. While I do see that as being true, I can't be too sure if that was supposed to be the correct translation, but that's what she told me. Either way, I'm not surprised. I also got to finally see the other 2 schools I'll be working at. Surprisingly, the 3rd one is the smallest, furthest, and only has about 60-70 students and the coteacher there speaks the best English I've heard so far since my arrival in this town! How random. It sucks that I was not able to spend more time at these schools, though. Because I had spent every day in Naesung, I was able to get to know the staff pretty well and feel very comfortable. It won't be the same at the other 2 schools.

I also met up with John, another EPIK teacher from my orientation. It was nice to see another westerner and to be able to speak English at a normal rate as well as compare horror stories. He also met another teacher randomly on the street. And through him, I was able to meet all of the other native English teachers that are living in Yeongju. It was great to finally meet others, even though most of them were couples. We ate at a local restaurant owned by a Canadian chef (very delish but expensive food) and went out to a few bars, one particularly being a karaoke transgender bar. Very interesting to see...we also learned that Korean culture is very repressed and that all of these transgender women live double lives as their families have disowned them and they must act and dress as men during the day. For them, the repression of being transgender is a part of their culture and they could never see themselves getting anywhere close to where many other countries are today in terms of the LGBT community. More on this later.

A million more things happened this week but this blog has taken nearly 2 hours to do and frankly, it's enough. First day of real teaching tomorrow!

By the way, I got married at orientation! I just needed the easy access into England.