Into Year 2

I have gone home and am now back in Korea for Year 2. Home was good. I saw a lot of people, ate too much good food, spent time with the family, and got to speak English all the time.

In retrospect, Year 1 was amazing. I learned a lot about myself, westerners, and Koreans. I gained a better perspective on what it means to be Asian and how I can carry this mentality towards my own Hmong culture. I also learned that culture clashes go deeper than I previously believed, but with time and patience, clearer understandings can come about. I also learned that some people just don't get it and probably never will. I may not always get it, but I know for a fact that I at least try.

I came into this job with extremely high expectations. But anyone who's ever worked here knows that the system is inconsistent and always changing, so these expectations are often not met. And while it's frustrating and disappointing, if I try hard enough, I find other things to be thankful for. Things like how good it feels to have kids run and hug you when they see you and spend 10 minutes trying to explain how your hair looks like the girl nemesis in a Korean drama. And this comes from students who never made eye contact and refused to speak to you at the beginning of the year. The progress of their English abilities is minimal, but it's the little things that matter.

Living in this Korean culture has been rewarding and interesting. I won't get into details, so let's just say it had its up and downs. I thought hard and carefully about my decision to return for a second year. Since I've been back, standing alongside my decision has been tough. Aside from just missing my family, knowing I made another year long commitment only creates more doubt. So I promised myself I'd overcome these insecurities simply by changing my way of thinking.

I decided that I'd work harder on my Korean so that communication would be less of a barrier. I would also try my best to eat foods I avoided all year to make meals smoother (I am trying to eat mushrooms and octopus all the time--not quite there yet). I would accept the fact that my teaching material can sometimes appear mundane and repetitive. And I would not be easily frustrated by the changes and disappointments that often take place in this education system.

But within the first two weeks of school, I was broken. The day before school started I got a new co-teacher. This was a great thing. But then on the first day of school, I learned I would not teach at my small school (which I loved) and would all of a sudden teach at 2 middle schools (which I had never done before). I was immediately frustrated that my seniority meant nothing or that I wasn't notified sooner. Then I was told my after school pay was being reduced. And then my salary was also being reduced (or rather, was written incorrectly), despite what EPIK had declared. Then I learned I was actually correct and got my salary upped again after all the agony of arguing.

Then I decided to accept my position at the middle schools and taught one day at one of them. I was immediately charmed by the students, the teachers, and the school...only to learn the next day that I was being kicked out and sent to the elementary school.

I take my job quite seriously, and now it feels like I'm just a big joke. All the change is exhausting and leading me to believe I made the wrong decision to come back. At this point it's either let it go or go home. And I don't want to go home. You'd think after a year of this, you'd get used to it. But somehow they still always seem to know how to get you. It's push push push until you can't take it anymore. But now all that's left is to just push back. The ultimate test. No expectations = no disappointments.

When I lived in Chile, I think I was so desperate to get away that I dealt with the cultural differences easily and nothing seemed to bother me. But since I made this choice to come to Korea, knowing what was left behind, I feel the need to be more satisfied with my decision. But I often lose sight of the fact that I still make a decent income, I have a home, I'm healthy, I never go hungry, and I'm constantly developing experiences and memories to last a lifetime. This decision is a good one if I allow it to be.

At the end of the day, it's really all about the students and their willingness to talk with you, the teachers that cheer for you when you make an awesome serve in volleyball and then make sure you're well fed, the black belt with your name on it, the friendships you will always remember, the self-awareness that develops, the gained perspective on the world, and the Korean men who suit up so well they make Barney Stinson jealous.